Supposedly this is supposed to be My Year

3 / 22 / 2026

Well girlies... Unsure of how I'm gonna get out of this one.

Okay okay okay. First I was gonna focus on the debt right now, but I just remembered that this was supposedly gonna be my year. Like, as in over the past few years, a couple of different psychics all individually said that 2026 was gonna be "my year". And Lord Mammon also said that this was the year I was gonna be working full-time (or close enough if I'm still self-employed).

I totally forgot all about this. But maybe they were onto something, because at least one of them said that I would be stepping into power, and now I'm a political candidate for a small local position. That's kinda weird to think about. I literally just got asked by my local progressive committee to do it because nobody else has run in a really long time. (At least someone who isn't a chess piece for inbred bigwigs who want to keep brown people out of town.)

It's not about me winning per se, it's about setting a precedent that people younger than middle-aged should get more involved with their local community so they can make positive changes and approve laws that would do things like protect our local ecosystem.

As for how this is gonna go... IDK. I guess it's still cool to meet new people with all this stuff. My treasurer said that I at least look and act like I know what I'm talking about, so there's that.

- - -

Still on that magic grind, too. I really need to start focusing on other things but... Lately I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything. And physically I'm really tired. I'm gonna keep asking Glasya-Labolas to help with clearing my mind. And apparently he also really wants to help with the new career path that I've been exploring, mentioned above. He was actually helping me when my mind was all messed up from med withdrawal earlier. Ave Glasya-labolas I guess!

I've been learning a lot, too. Like about how Yahweh was originally some storm/war god and then everyone worshipped him because they invoked him to destroy their enemies. And then he got mixed with El and became the Creator God of the new religion. It's more complicated than that, obviously, but that's the gist of it. But I guess it really makes sense that a lot of these guys who follow him and variations of him are warmongers. I'm not really surprised.

It's also just kind of weird because now with all the politics stuff... I live in a relatively rural-ish area where everyone believes in God to the point where county meetings will open with a prayer. Even the progressive committee private meetings begin with a prayer. (Though at least with the dem meeting it was labeled as a "prayer or reflection", meaning we at least had the choice not to pray if we didn't want to.)

I don't know. I really hate Christianity. I cannot forgive this "god" for genociding so many people. All the prayer stuff makes me uncomfortable. I'm willing to believe that El was loving, but the Yahweh side of "God" is disgusting. The only people who seem to agree with me are the really annoying atheists who hate all religion. But I don't even hate all religions! Just this one (and its related branches)!

I dunno. Maybe I can convince more people to get this religious shit out of politics. Even though I am a highly spiritual person, I firmly believe in the separation of church and state. It's just kinda infuriating that people will stick their heads in the sand so hard for a god that acts like an abusive parent toward everyone. Even when I was a kid, I didn't like how God just killed everyone he didn't like, even though he was the one who made them knowing full well they would be bad.

I believe in the Dao, but that's a state of being. It doesn't have a consciousness or anything. It just Is.

- 🛸

4 / 6 / 2026

Still sitting around with everything on fire going "This is Fine." when it isn't. At least I have my super fast typing speed. Visual Studio Code can't keep up with me. Still not fast enough to actually do anything about it, though, like being one of those real-time transcribers.

It's really hard to believe it's already 1/3rd of the year gone. Like. It feels like so much happened but that barely any time has passed. Like when you watch a video that's only like 10 minutes long but it felt like it was 40 minutes long due to how much back-and-forth stuff was in it.

Anyway, someone was helping me figure out why my money stuff wasn't manifesting. And, as per usual- I had way too much entropy-flavored void energy. The natural magical energy I create starts exacerbating my current health problems and eats away at any sort of good fortune magic that I have. There isn't much to do about it other than direct it to someone else by cursing them with it. I would really prefer I do that since historically speaking it will get my pets instead if it can't get me.

It's a really good thing I know a lot of people personally who need a pitchfork up their ass.

I keep thinking about the void thing, though. It's pretty normal for me, but multiple people have told me that my energy is not something you find in most people. In fact, it's so antithetical to physical life, that it would definitely cause issues like the ones described above.

So, how did I get here? Who fucking knows. I've been like this ever since I was a child and I started using my abilities by talking to spirits and attempting to cast spells.

On a side note, Santa Muerte has been popping up again. I keep seeing random stuff with her in it (like ads, posts online on multiple sites, people mentioning her IRL) despite my algorithm not being focused on that. Sometimes it feels like she's watching me.

I don't feel comfortable working with her though (as in, I don't think I'm the target audience, so to speak- I am indigenous, but I'm not Mexican) so I'm not going to unless another devotee of her explicitly tries to get me to work with her. She has done this to me a few times in the past, but it seemed that she moreso just had a random message for me each time, and not that she wanted to work with me. Last time, she wanted me to contact Bulalakaw. I deadass have no idea why she usually sends me messages to go talk to him, but this has happened more than once. Maybe it's because we are also a culture colonized by Spain, so she thinks we're adjacent enough to talk to?

Bulalakaw is... Strange. Sometimes he wants me to talk to him, but he never makes any note that this is the case. Like he doesn't send me any signs or anything. So sometimes other spirits tell me to go to him. I guess god-fathers act just like real fathers sometimes :P my dad does this shit all the time.

Anyway, in the middle of typing all this, I got a strange pressure on the side of my head, the same way I do when some spirit is trying to get my attention. So I started shuffling tarot cards. DEATH jumped out at me. This is definitely Lady Death.

I'll cut this entry here since the rest of the reading gets personal.

- 🧶